Two Great Ways to Boost Your thoughts About Relationships and Life!
Posted in Relationships, Spirituality with tags affirmation, balance, escape, life, love, meditation, opportunity, peace, spirituality, time, words on June 4, 2011 by BlackMenTalkIt’s been both said and shared by so many of us over the years: “Three things in life that once gone never come back. Time, opportunity and Words.”
I’ve had a certain attachment to this quote for some time. Still do in fact. And even now it comes with a ‘newer’ perspective and revelation. It came over a cup of chamomile and lemon tea at about 2a.m. this morning
Time and opportunity…
Time is ever behind us. Yet, in the same is ever before us. With this truth–and as long as there’s some breath and mobility within the body–opportunity will ever be before us and behind us also.
The time and opportunity to heal a broken relationship. The time and opportunity to start a new project or improve on our current successes and failures…To make tomorrow better than last night.
Words…
…Neither loose color nor completely disappear; Be they words that speak life and positivity or death and destruction. They resonate through the universe regardless. They leave the confines of our brain,sit in the heart, and finally rest upon our lips but for a moment before manifesting/morphing into eternal activity. Words possess the capacity to live forever.
The very first thing you can do is remain ever mindful of how your time is spent. Are you being productive?If you’ve yet to break away from what appears to be mundane routines or habits since 2011 began, then do something you’ve never done before. It doesn’t have to be drastic. Escape with a drive to a neighboring town. Read a new book. Become engrossed in an different genre altogether! Ultimately, it sometimes only takes a slight shift from doing what you’re accustomed to reach the next phase in your evolution—personal or professional. Charlie Jones puts into powerful perspective.
“You’re the same today as you’ll be in five years except for the people you meet and the books you read.”
The last thing you can do is let the words you first speak to yourself be both positive and affirming. They should be before you can begin speaking them to others. We’re spirit beings on a human experience, and when we speak we’re speaking one to the other…spirit to spirit. Become conscious of releasing words of love, power, encouragement and affirmation. Love & Light
Making Sense Out Of Nonsense
Posted in Dating & Relationships with tags commitment, communication, love, misinterpretation, misunderstanding, patience, understanding on June 3, 2011 by BlackMenTalkI’ve reflected on past conversations with family and friends dealing with relationships ‘stuff’, and an often reoccurring theme has been one of deciphering their mate’s conversation(s); when what’s heard means something else entirely different. At what point did all of us need to acquire master’s degrees in cryptology? I know you probably don’t really have one but–when dealing with certain people sometimes–you probably wish you did right? Well you do. You have it. It’s yours and you’ll probably be using it in the afterlife.
I think parents become the first masters of decoding conversations with their children. I recall my father’s relationship with my little adopted niece. ’Paw-Paw’ would be on the sofa chewing on his favorite soft candies and there she’d come—smiling with a drooling mouth.
“Paw-Paw…What cha doin’?”
My dad’s crafty and wise. He’d look at her dead in the eyeballs and say, “Nothing!” Clever little girl was often too clever for herself. Rather than simply ask for a piece of candy, she feigns sincerity at the risk of being delayed–for hours or perhaps days–her gratification. Consider what would happen if we potentially took everything our mates said at face value. In situations that could’ve been met with instant clarity, instead become a tedious practice of spinning the dial on our little mental secrete decoder rings.
When the words human beings speaks have yet to make any sense (to you), then the mind’s eye interpretation may as well be gibberish—distortion; something akin to the beauty of a photo that rests inside the mind of a 5 yr old, but what materializes on paper is something completely different.
The main thing to know is that it’s okay. Making sense of it all begins with understanding the notion that none of us are birthed with stellar communicating skills. It may require patience to get to the root of whatever he or she is trying to tell you, but clarity comes when you ask for it. Ask for it! That whole thing about there’s no such thing as a dumb question? I’d like to think that I’m one of the smartest dummies I know.
Parents: some of you need to stop lying to yourself and your kids about some of those ugly pictures their drawing.
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From Botox to the Buttocks: Paying the Ultimate Price for Poor Self Image
Posted in In the News with tags black madam, body dysmorphic disorder, buttocks injections, claudia aderotimi, deception, education, fake doctor, fame, generation y, illusion, lies, murder, music industry, research, self esteem, self-confidence, self-image, television on February 15, 2011 by BlackMenTalkIn the new age of fame, fortune—and constantly and newly evolving definitions of ‘beauty’—there’s a segment of the population that believes in order to be successful and feel physically attractive or appealing they must augment, accent, enhance, reduce, pull back, or cut off parts of the body in an effort to reach this illusory end; not only are many willing to pay huge amounts amounts of money for it, but they’re also willing to place their lives on the line…whether they consciously realize it or not.
Twenty year old Claudia Aderotimi was–by almost any person’s reasonable standard–a very pretty young woman. However, it’s conceivable that she was like others (both men and women) who suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder. And I’m almost discovering daily how common this disorder’s energy is.
I must sidebar the crux of this post for a moment and say that I’ve always positively complimented my friends on their physical appearance. However, we’re almost always our own worst critic. Others may constantly communicate how wonderful you look physically, but if you don’t (or can’t) see it for yourself…then their words return to them void of any mind-changing impact.
Claudia’s procedure was botched by a trans-gendered self-proclaimed doctor who goes by the stage-name Black Madam inside a Southwest Philadelphia Hampton Inn Hotel.
Now before reading on, here’s a few questions I’m sure you’re tossing around in your head:
1. How did she learn of this ‘doctor’?
2. Credentials?
I shutter to think that any of Black Madam’s credentials came from this video or something like it:
What will it involve to get us to a place of realizing our own greatness? What values are our Gen Y parents instilling in today’s youth? From where come the positive affirmations within the home to our kids before they come of age and leave? …The ones that say regardless what anyone does or says to us, we are good enough exactly the way we are. We were created in the very image and likeness of the Most High. We came onto the earth equipped with everything we need to fulfill our mission and destiny.
While my prayers go out to the family and friends of Ms. Aderotimi, it’s also my prayer this confused and foolish soul that is ‘Madam Black’ be brought to justice swiftly and immediately.
Valentine’s Day: Holiday or Holi-hype?
Posted in Dating & Relationships with tags Catholic, Christianity, Creativity, expression, family, feelings, fulfillment, happiness, history, joy, love, passion, Relationships, Roman, romance, Valentine's Day on February 9, 2011 by BlackMenTalk
On a single day when roses sell for three or four times their original cost and 1 through 5-star restaurantsare filled to capacity, I ask why do we allow ourselves to become caught up in the commercial allure and illusion of this particular holiday? Keep reading. By the time you reach the end of my tirade, you might shift your thinking about how you ‘spend‘ February 14th.
To date, no one knows either the historical origin of February 14th or if it’s linked to any Roman or Christian tradition. According to history, there were at LEAST three Christian saints that went by the name Valentine. One a Roman priest, another a bishop in Terni and one who died in Africa. Yet there are no historical facts citing the day refers specifically to any one of them.
I remember my first kindergarten crush. Her name was Kelly. One day Kelly drew me a picture of a kite on a napkin in blue ink, and I was instantly in love. It was shortly after receiving my napkin kite that I was introduced to Valentine’s Day and those nasty-ass chalk-gritty candies. She silently walked over to my desk and—as if she’d carved the word on herself—handed me a piece of heart-shaped candy that said, “I like you”. I knew then that I didn’t like the taste of that crappy candy, but what stuck was simply her gesture and words. Powerful! Yet how easily we forget ‘simplicity’ when we’re grown and ‘aware’. So in the spirit of simplicity—and from the 5 year old love-struck child still within me–I offer you these following suggestions:
1. Celebrate at home!
If you can cook, then cook a meal for the occasion. If not, then offer a near-by friend or relative to do put in the work for you in exchange for some equivalent favor later. This is just an idea to get your creative juices flowing!
2. Gas up your mate’s tank.
That’s right! A full tank of gas in his or her car will go a long way. Either call or email me when a gas company runs a Valentine’s Day special.
3. Tidy up the house…Take the kids and disappear!
You may say, “Eh, this one’s more like a Mother’s Day thing.” …So! It really doesn’t have to be. Why? Because this is ‘Valentine’s Day’—and it probably will NOT be a day off for most of you.
I’m sure there will be nothing quite like giving mother free reign of the house for an entire evening. You know the wife’s/girlfriend’s/finance’s schedule. Plan it out! Have her walk into the house while being crooned by the sounds of her favorite artists from your mp3 player. You may even want to have unlit candles (from holidays before) strategically placed in or around her favorite lounging areas. She probably likes tea candles. Have a bath drawn and set with a few of those around the tub and counter.
4. Ladies: How about an empty house for him for a few hours? Perhaps a few things in the fridge that you know he likes: Favorite drinks, food, dessert, etc. Program the TIVO. Maybe consider ordering his favorite sporting event. The idea is to think unconventionally; showing and expressing a love without limitation, boundary and condition. It can all be done by not yielding to the temptation of becoming engrossed in all the commercialism/consumerism of the day.
Truth is many of you may be doing little things like this throughout the year anyway. There’s no reason to give into either media or pressure potentially received from friends and relatives when it comes to how you make your mate feel ‘special’ on this one day. You don’t need ‘them’ telling you that what you’re doing for one another during the other 300 plus days of the year isn’t good enough in the romance department. Your love is your mall. Pull from the fully stocked shelves and isles that is your creative essence. Peace & Love…
Why He Likes The Hoochie’s ‘Coochie’
Posted in Relationships with tags confidence, fear, insecure, love, perception, pride, self esteem, self-confidence, self-expression, self-image, self-love, self-perception, sex, sexuality on January 9, 2011 by BlackMenTalkI was presented a question yesterday…
“Why is it some MEN will run to and prefer a woman that has no pride about her self,dress like hoochies,showing everything,just throwing them self out there just letting everything hang out instead of a decent woman that have pride&loves her self first?”
My answer:
Within at least some of our psych, there’s a tendency to avoid love at almost all cost…because of poor models for love’s expression. We gravitate toward things or people that pose little to no threat of having to ever experience love.
It’s all fear-based.
Everything we see on the outside of a person is a direct subconscious manifestation of inner thoughts, feelings and expression. What the hoochie mama’s inner dialog potentially says is something along the lines of…
“I really don’t care about myself, so there’s no need or desire to have anyone care about me.”
Men pick up on this energy because LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE. When we can truly appreciate ourselves as a gifted and gifting expression of the God-Energy— Knowing that we were created for that alone–we then draw closer to truly understanding/overstanding what self-love really is.
Love & Light
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